Downpour
by MelodiousDreams
Summary: My first fanfic! When it comes down to it, which is more important- pride or friendship? Saix&Axel, no pairing, Oneshot, rated T for one use of mild language. Please R&R? DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything!


Downpour:

As was the norm, it was raining in The World that Never Was. It was an almost-constant weather condition there, keeping the melancholy atmosphere of the technically non-existent world alive. By this point, the thirteen humanoid residents of the world were used to the constant precipitation, and some had even adjusted so well that they enjoyed the rain. Axel was not one of those people.

Axel hated the rain. He always had. And now, having a fire element at his disposal didn't help the situation, not one bit. Why would you like the rain anyway? It's only purpose was to you and your clothes sopping wet, and ruin your hair. Axel took great pride in his crimson hair, and could very easily spend hours on end spiking it up, so it was just right. Rather an energetic person, Axel was a habitually early riser. Nobody else in the Organization knew this, though. He just about managed to get ready in time for breakfast with his comrades every morning – the time it took to style his hair was astounding, The only other person who took longer on his hair was Demyx, and let's face it: Demyx could afford to spend ages on his hair. Axel could not. Axel was almost constantly busy doing something, be that a mission, or sitting at the clock ower contentedly eating a sea-salt ice cream.

But lately, nothing seemed to be going right for the Flurry of Dancing Flames. Saix seemed to have become even more distant (if that were possible), the missions were piling up, he had Marluxia and Larxene on his back about something or other, and then he couldn't even portal away, catch a break for a few minutes. Nobody was permitted to leave the castle, unless on a mission. This was a new rule, normally by now, Axel would have portalled well away from the dreary castle, probably off to Twilight Town, seeking some peace in the sleepy, dusky town. But, it seemed, that wasn't possible. So, there Axel was, progressively getting more and more worked up.

Well, sort of getting worked up.

Technically, Axel couldn't get 'worked up' anymore. He could remember how to do it, but the emotions that should normally accompany such a mood just weren't there. So, the best he could do was stare out the windows of the Grey Area, sprawled across one of the sofas, watching the rain fall to Earth. How. Boring. He fidgeted this way and that, all the pent-up energy wasn't helping the boredom at all. And another thing: where was everybody?

Normally, by now, pretty much every other member of Organization XIII had given up trying to ignore the bad weather and retreated inside. It was around the end of the day, missions were sure to have finished, right? But, judging by the silent emptiness of the Grey Area, apparently this wasn't the case. Apart from the soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the windows of the plain white room, it was almost completely silent, like someone had pressed a mute button. There was no soft melody playing throughout the castle, so Demyx wasn't around. There were no explosions coming from the lab down the corridor, so it was probable that Vexen wasn't in there, So... where was everyone? Of course, it was a possibility that everyone was just being quiet for a change. People could just be winding down after a long day. Unlikely, but still a possibility.

What was really bugging Axel though, was the silence. If he was honest, he really couldn't care less where the other twelve members of the Organization were at this moment. After all, he doubted very highly that anyone would be concerned, were the situation reversed. But if there were other people in the room to talk to, at least he could be distracted from whatever else was on his mind. He could simply place the worries on the back shelf of his mind, and focus on the there and now. But now, it was so quiet. Nothing to stop whatever was on the back shelf from clambering into the very center of his thoughts, commanding the redheads attention. What made the situation even worse was the fact that Axel couldn't worry. Literally. Worry was an emotion, which was now beyond the Flurry, some sort of far-off dream. A nobody couldn't do that sort of thing. So, without the capacity to actually be truly concerned for anything, letting every little niggling thought gain control of Axel's mind would not be good. At all.

Which was sort of why he acted the way he did, if he was honest. He was loud and extroverted on the outside, but this was a ruse. Truly, Axel was rather a more quiet person, which could really only be seen on rare occasions. The way he was now staring out the window, not a sound from his lips, was enough to prove this more serene persona. Acting as confident as he did was a brilliant distraction. This wasn't to say he was shy and meek, far from it. All it showed was that he could be quiet if he wanted to be. He just ever really wanted to. Which was why most people had never seen this side of Axel before.

With no distractions, Axel had no alternative. He changed position, sitting himself up and leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin rested in his hands. His expression was blank, his piercing green eyes staring straight ahead. He didn't move. Most people would believe that Axel wasn't doing anything, but he was. Axel was thinking. The opportunity to think so deeply didn't happen much, what with his bustling, busy lifestyle. But now, there was nothing else to do. Axel was thinking of so many things at once. There were so many things that they all blurred together, making it difficult for him to really focus on any one thing. The first thing he mind really focused on was Saix. Once upon a time, they were friends. Closer than close. Inseparable. But obviously, Lea and Isa didn't get their happy ending. If they had, then Axel wouldn't even have to exist, and neither would Saix.

Axel could clearly remember the last emotion he ever truly felt. It was a potent mixture of deep fear, shock, guilt and grief. For just a few moments, the redhead's mind strayed, back into the past. Into Lea's last moments.

_It was raining that day, he would always remember that. Maybe, this was the reason for Axel's hatred of the rain now? The rain didn't stop an energetic youth from bursting out of his front door, into the cobbled streets of Radient Garden, a wide, cheeky grin splashed across his face. The boy had piercing green eyes, and crimson hair that was styled into spikes. The youth bounded over to the house next door, and expertly knocked a small tune onto the stained wood of the oak door. This was, in actual fact, a code, a code only he and his best friend could understand. Sure enough, the door opened, revealing another youth. This boy was obviously more serene than the flamboyant redhead. This boy had azure coloured hair, which was only spiked up a little, mostly left to just flow down his back. The blue-haired boy cautiously took a look outside – the rain was coming down faster now, forming a veil of precipitation that surrounded the two friends._

"_Lea," the blue-haired boy shook his head, leaning casually against his doorframe. "Incase you haven't noticed, it's pouring it down. You really think it's a good idea to go outside?" Lea nodded fervently, grinning._

"_Nobody else will, we'll have the whole town to ourselves! Aww, c'mon Isa, it'll be fun!" Isa looked to be considering it, which was good. A sly grin suddenly spread across Isa's cheeks, as realisation crept into his mind. Isa took a quick look around, then leant closer to Lea, lowering his voice._

"_Plus," he whispered carefully. "the guards won't be around." Isa raised an eyebrow, looking for understanding on his friend's face. A grin appeared on the redhead, too. For weeks now, Lea and Isa had been trying – unsuccessfully – to sneak into the castle in Radient Garden, the home of Ansem the Wise and his six apprentices. The duo were curious – apprentices of what exactly? What were they studying. It was some sort of big secret, almost nobody in the whole of Radiant Garden knew. Lea and Isa wanted to find out. But every time they got close, those stupid guards would find them and kick them out. But... if it was raining, the guards wouldn't be outside, right? The duo nodded simultaneously. It was decided. With that, they set off, up the hill towards the castle, playing about, pushing eachother, messing around, like friends do. With this new hope, not even the rain could dampen their spirits._

_Once they had nearly reached the top, they both heard something that made them freeze. A loud bang, almost sounding like an explosion, coming from somewhere within the castle. The explosion sent tremors through the ground beneath their feet._

"_What was __**that?**__" Lea demanded, his own voice trembling slightly. Isa shook his head, and shrugged._

"_I have no idea. Perhaps... it's better we leave now? We can try again another day." Isa's voice was also a little shaken, he didn't sound nearly as keen as he had been climbing the hill. Although his voice was shaken, he seemed calmer than Lea, who was already taking a few nervous steps back. The usual mischievous grin had disappeared from the redheads face, replaced by an 'o' of horror. He nervously pointed in the direction of the front gates of the castle, where they had been so readily headed just moments before._

"_I-Isa... what are they?" Lea's voice was quiet, fearful. Isa looked over to where Lea was pointed, before his eyes widened and he took a few steps back, standing next to his best friend again. They were.. monsters. That was the only way to describe them. Black creatures with yellow orbs for eyes, and claws that looked as if they could do a whole lot of damage. Lea looked at Isa, and Isa looked at Lea. They quickly nodded, and then both turned on their heels, and ran, running as far away as possible from those monstrous creatures, whatever they were._

_Lea had lots of practise running – he had to use up all of that energy somehow – but Isa wasn't nearly as active as the redhead, who was currently sprinting ahead of him. They ran and ran, not daring to look behind them, incase those shadowy things were chasing them. It hadn't seemed nearly this long when they were climbing the hill. Now they were descending again, it seemed like the hill was never going to stop. Like the boys were on some sort of treadmill, the same steps over and over again, but never actually getting anywhere. Isa was beginning to tire. Lea, who had much more energy, had continued to sprint ahead, not noticing Isa's slowing pace. He just had to breathe, Isa told himself. Just keep running, and the two of them would be okay. He closed his eyes, trying to conserve and build his energy back up. One step at a time._

_By the time Isa opened his eyes again, Lea had finally reached the bottom of the hill, he just had to cross under the bridge, and they'd be back in the village. They'd be safe. _

"_Isa, w-we made it." he began to say, turning to face his triumphant friend inbetween regaining his breath. He had a raging stitch, which he bent over slightly in an effort to control, but that didn't concern him too much. They were okay, both of them. His trademark grin was nearly on his lips again as he turned to-_

"_Isa?" his face fell. No. No, this couldn't be happening._

_Isa had opened his eyes, expecting to see Lea right beside him every step of the way. He ached all over, he'd never run this hard in all his life. His eyes saw nothing but the rest of the hill. The rain was hammering down harder than ever, but this was the least of his worries._

"_Lea?" his eyes widened, his face fell, as he realised that that streak of red hair was gone. Not there. No. While he had had his eyes closed, Lea must have..._

_Isa stopped abruptly in his tracks and turned on his heel, to face the veritable maelstrom of monsters that had chased down the hill after them and, Isa feared, taken his best friend._

"_Lea!" he bellowed, calling out in the hope that his friend could hear him underneath the stampede of those creatures._

_It all happened so quickly._

_Lea heard his name called, but not from underneath the monsters. He sprinted back up the hill, although every bone in his body protested against such intensive movement. He arrived just in time to see the torrents of the monster crash over the figure that he was sure was Isa, relentlessly headed for him. They had no remorse for what they had done. They were horrible, heartless creatures. Tears brimmed and spilled down the redheads cheek, the pure shock of what he had actually just seen making the breath catch in his throat, his whole body freezing. _

"_Isa, no!" he spluttered. He was shivering, soaking wet, the tears camouflaging in with the raindrops that each felt like slaps across Lea's face. There was nothing for it. With a roar filled with grief and loss, guilt and pain, Lea had decided. He had to save Isa. Nothing else mattered, Steeling himself, the young redhead charged at the crowds of monsters, planning to run right through them. Isa. Isa. Isa. They were his only thoughts. Lea physically punched a few of the monsters away, as the crowds advanced on him. He had to break up the crowds, he had to get to Isa. There were millions of them, Lea could barely see the sky above him for the thick mounds of darkness that surrounded him. He could feel the burning sensation as the claws ripped into his skin, feel the thick, warm liquid running down his body before the rain washed it away. Isa. Isa. Isa. He'd be okay, he just had to get to Isa. He winced and gasped in pain as he felt the searing heat of another deep cut, but he'd be fine just as long as Isa was okay. Lea gave up fighting them off, focusing on just getting to the other side of the mountain of monsters. What felt like an eternity later, he burst through, falling to the floor in exhaustion. He was battered and weak, it was all too tempting to just lay there and fall asleep..._

_Get up! he scolded himself. Isa was more important than a nap. Isa. Isa. Isa._

"_Isa!" he called, the weakness more than evident in his raspy voice. Slowly, ever so slowly, Lea got to his feet, wincing in pain from the attacks of the monsters. Isa was just laying there, limp, just as battered as his friend. His eyes were closed, he was completely still. Lea practically threw himself to the side of his friend, squeezing his eyes shut. The tears ran down his cheeks, and the rain came down harder than ever before._

"_No..." Lea managed to whisper, his voice husky and hoarse. "I'm so sorry..." he began to sob silently, his shoulder shaking with the intense grief that had washed over him, as realization of what was happening really sunk in._

"_This is all my fault." The truth of his own words weighed him down. If not for him, then Isa would still probably be at home. He'd still be... he couldn't bring himself to say it, the guilt might just become too much for the youth to bear. There were cuts and bruises scattered across Isa's person, but the thing Lea noticed first was a deep set of gashes inbetween Isa's eyes, in the shape of an X. It was horrible. Lea's own breathing was becoming laboured, it was deeper and spaced further apart. His head was throbbing, he ached all over, his eyes stung from how much he had cried. He tried to hang on, but it was rapidly becoming harder and harder for him to stay sitting upright. He placed his head on the cold, wet ground, looking straight to the sky, despite the rain aggravating his sore eyes. He felt like he was floating, but it didn't feel right. Isa wasn't there. He was gone. And it was all his fault. Lea felt a crumbling sensation in the centre of his chest, and he let go, closing his eyes. It was all too easy to slip into the darkness._

Axel's eyes shot open. That memory was always so vivid, and even as emotionless as he was, he could still feel the echoes of the terrible sadness that had consumed him, the guilt that haunted him to this day. No wonder they didn't get along, not when he had been so horrible to him. Saix wouldn't even be here if not for him. He wouldn't have that awful scar plastered across his forehead. There weren't enough words of apology that Axel could say. He wouldn't admit it, but sometimes he did miss having Saix for a friend. Roxas was a great friend, Axel would never dream of ending his friendship with Roxas, but... you can never forget your first best friend.

There were other things on Axel's mind, too, but they were so minor and petty compared with Lea and Isa. That was about as big a problem as you can get. Axel sat backwards again, his head resting on a cushion as he stared upwards at the ceiling, biting his lip subconsciously. Everything was going so well for the two of them, until he went and messed it all up. He just wished he could press a button and make everything okay again. But until the day he found that button, there wasn't too much he could do. He wanted to set things right. Or, at least make things a little less awkward between him and the blue-haired male that had once been his best friend.

It was a few minutes later when Axel finally heard footsteps, approaching the Grey Area.

"Finally." Axel couldn't help but think. It was about time someone showed up, right? He didn't move at all, his eyes still staring at the ceiling thoughtfully. Not checking to see whoever it was that had walked in, he had bigger and more interesting things on his mind. All he could do was listen to the echoing footsteps as they walked closer and closer, before coming to a halt about five paces behind the sofa that Axel found himself sat on Axel didn't think too much of this, obviously, as he eyes weren't distracted from the ceiling. The other person cleared their throat, a universal attempt to grab another's attention. As there was nobody else in the room, it must have Axel's attention that the person wanted. Axel rolled his eyes,, decided that maybe responding would be the best option, incase it was the Superior. That would be just his luck. He lazily twisted his upper body so he could see the other person, unimpressed.

"What do you wa- oh. Um. You... alright?"

Saix didn't reply, but crossed his arms and looked straight ahead, completely ignoring the redhead that sat below him. The silence was so awkward, it was almost physically uncomfortable. The two nobodies were both too stubborn to speak first, an old battle of wills that could very easily continue on for months and months. Axel twisted his torso back around so he was sitting properly again, facing the opposite direction to the Luna Diviner. Axel, too, crossed his arms stubbornly. He wasn't breaking the silence, no way. But then, neither was Saix. This was going nowhere.

Eventually, what musthave been at least five minutes later, Axel opened his mouth again.

"Look, is there something you wanted or what?" There was an edge to his voice, obviously Axel was losing patience. Again, no reply came from Saix's lips. Axel rolled his eyes amd looked back to the nobody of his ex best friend.

"You're giving me the silent treatment now? Geez, that's lame. We haven't done that since we were... what, four?" This time, Saix looked down into the emerald eyes of Axel with his own golden ones, shook his head and tutted. Tutted, as an adult would to a small child who was misbehaving.

"Xemnas wanted me to tell you that-"

"Don't feed me that crap, we both know I won't buy it. What do you really want?" Axel snapped, pressing for the answer. He had this feeling in his stomach, like it was tying itself in knots. Now, why would it be doing that? The guilt churning inside his system was aggravating the redhead. Saix paused, and sighed.

"You left me." Saix said simply, his voice sharp and cold. This sent Axel's thought racing. What? When?

Oh.

"But... I didn't." Axel looked to the floor, nervously beginning to fiddle with the zip at the top of his standard uniform black coat, in a last-ditch attempt to distract himself from the guilt rampaging inside him, threatening to override all his thoughts. His stomach had knotted itself so tight, it couldn't possibly become any more tangled. All the niggling guilt built up inside him was amplified by Saix's cold belief. It was all true. If only he'd been paying more attention, things would have been so different.

"I... I came back for you, I swear."

"No, you didn't. Stop lying." Saix replied coldly, tutting again. He narrowed his eyes.

"No, I did! Hones-"

"Stop!" Saix yelled. "Just stop. If everything you say is true, then answer me this. Why am I here? Explain that!" The question, almost a demand, hung in the air. Axel had no reply that he could speak, no excuse that could be credible. Exactly the same thoughts had been in his head the whole time, how could he object now that it had been said out loud? Saix's own voice was also for once filled with emotion. He wasn't cold, he just felt betrayed. Betrayed by the one person he thought he could really place his trust in. His cold facade was how Saix had chosen to deal with it, contrasting with Axel putting on a brave face and acting happy, just like everything was okay. There was deep hurt evident in the Luna Diviner's voice, old wounds that he had sustained, that Isa had once sustained, opening up again. Obviously, these thoughts had been in his head for a long time, and he had simply been unable to hold them in anymore. Axel was feeling a similar way, but his hurt was kept on the inside. The same words kept resounding inside his head. "It's all your fault."

Saix just watched Axel, glaring. He was unsure how to act, and that was a most annoying way to be. Was it right that after all this time, he still wanted to comfort the redhead, tell him that his apology was accepted, that everything could go back to normal? He had no heart to guide him. All he was left with was his mind. The mind that had become accustomed to being cold, devoid of emotions. No, his mind told him. Axel needed to suffer, just as he had. He deserved the guilt, he deserved the pain. Isa had gone through it all, so he should too. Lea had left him. That was how it had been. He deserved everything. The blue-haired man looked out the window, sighing. The rain was still pouring down outside the castle. It was ironic that the bad weather always followed the duo's turmoil, only popping up when something bad happened between them.

"I don't know what I can say." Axel murmered eventually, not looking up from the floor. Saix shrugged, looking back to the redhead with his cold temperament intact. If he was honest, Saix didn't know what he could say either. Was there anything that could be said, that would make everything alright again? Probably not. That feeling of betrayal would always be there.


End file.
